How quickly time flies!

Okay, so it's been months since I've blogged. Amazing how quickly the time has passed. I'm not sure on the date of my last blog, but I know it's been over three months, because I am now the mother of a three month old baby girl...I'll have to go into detail later on all of the actual events, but I ended up giving birth a month early. It looked like Sara was going into distress during my weekly ultrasound or biophysical profile as they call it and a nonstress test. My Doc opted to take her the same day. Everything went well and she spent about six hours in nicu, but we have had no problems. She is the smallest baby that I've had weighing in at 6lbs. She has won my heart very quickly as well as everyone else in the house. I am thankful not to have to goto work or put her in daycare. She will be the first baby that I've had that I haven't had to leave while I worked. That is tremendous to me, and I thank God for it daily. So, while this was not the most exciting blog I've ever written, atleast I've broken the threshold. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in years. God is good. Sara is here, she's healthy, I'm healthy, praise God!

Almost there

Well, it's official. I have a delivery date. I will be having Sara on April 23. I am soooooooo happy, and scared, and excited. This will be my second C-section, so while I'm thrilled at the thought of meeting the newest Deveaux, I'm just a little nervous as to the means by which she will get here. I suppose I'll be so worn out by that time (as if I'm not already!) that I won't care. I am really happy about the thought of meeting her. I think everyone in the family is excited, especially Maria. She is thrilled at the prospect of having another little girl in our home. I'm pretty tired most days and it's getting a bit difficult to waddle around as much, so I am more than happy that this pregnancy is almost over. I can't wait to hold little Sara. I'm going in weekly for biophysical profiles and ob exams. I have my last perinatal visit this week, and I had my last endo-visit this week, so by the end of this week I'll be down to one doctor! Of course I still have to goto the hospital weekly for the profiles, but I'm not complaining. I am truly thankful for all of the wonderful doctors that have cared for Sara and I during my pregnancy. I am ever thankful to God for his grace and mercy and for blessing us with yet another child. He is truly worthy to be praised!

Do you want some Whine with that Cheese?

I don't know why I allow people to upset me, or allow myself to get upset by people. I have prayed for years for someone in my life to no avail. Obviously, God is not answering the prayer in the way that I would like him to at this time and he knows best, so I can accept that, but it is very difficult at times. When it comes to my family I have some serious issues. Rejection is a big one. I'm constantly feeling rejected. I know that these issues are deep rooted and I probably need some professional counseling, but I'm going to just give them to the Lord and let him take care of them for free. I can freely write about it here, because I'm certain no one in my family would bother to even read my blog! I guess I'm just having a feel sorry for myself moment. The problem with rejection is that it has a tendency to bleed over into other relationships in my life. I begin to feel like I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not whatever enough, to be someone's friend. When a good friend rejected me because I confronted her (in a loving way) about sin in her life, it really hurt because she totally shut me out. There was no conversation, no argument,I was just cut off. Rejected once again. Now I know that God can more than handle this, but I suppose that I'm fully realizing just how much of an issue it is for me. I find myself wanting to cut myself off from friends and family in fear of getting hurt by them. Oh well, perhaps I'm just pregnantally (yes I made that word up) hormonal at the moment. Either way, thankfully I'm smart enough to know that God has not rejected me and fully demonstrated that through the sacrifice of his son. I'm so thankful for my heavenly Father, even if my relationship with my earthly Father is lacking and my sister seems to have a natural distaste for me!